Wednesday, February 8, 2012

iphone

My phone is a shattered window
The window is broken
The glass is wasting away every moment
The glass is a sharp dagger that slices my finger
My finger is the catalyst that allows me to communicate with the world
The world is a black hole that I’m falling in
At last I’m free from the world
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8 comments:

  1. AnonymousFebruary 8, 2012 at 5:37 AM

    might want to work on punctuation

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. jessica27February 8, 2012 at 6:02 AM

      nah I'm good

      Delete
    2. kristinrocheFebruary 9, 2012 at 4:24 PM

      Some poets choose to never use punctuation. If this is a choice, be sure that you are careful with stanzas and line breaks.

      Delete
  2. Girl_Who_Was_On_FireFebruary 8, 2012 at 5:39 AM

    I like the message in the poem, but you were a little repititious on the word "it." But overall, good job.

    ReplyDelete
  3. kristinrocheFebruary 9, 2012 at 4:23 PM

    I like that you say that you are free from the world. I also like the use of repetition.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dan TFebruary 10, 2012 at 5:13 AM

    Never before has a broken Iphone inspired such a lovely poem.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. jessica27February 10, 2012 at 5:17 AM

      Aw thanks Dan how sweet of you. It's not so awesome though, because my phone is really shattered :/

      Delete

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